Fandango's Provocative Question (22 January 2020)

Hahaha, I chuckled when I read Fandango’s Provocative Question today, because his question is one I had already asked myself. So the test for me today will be to try and turn my thoughts into a coherent post! He asks:

If you could be the opposite sex for one day, what would you do?

Okay, two parts to my answer. One of which I could do in a single day, the other might take longer (I’ll let you guess which is which 🙂). Both of these assume that I would be a woman who be a turn-on to men, because I’d want to be in a position where I provoked some sexual feelings.

Most important, I’d want to think like the opposite sex for a short time. I’d like to experience what they experience daily. Just for a short while. I’d like to experience something like gender inequality, or somebody making unwanted sexual advances, just so I knew for myself. It’d give me better empathy. I only ever got one unwanted sexual advance in my life – something was said (very directly), I said I wasn’t interested, and that was the end of the matter. There was no further pestering, so it was no big deal on my side. But I’d like to learn about when a simple no is not the end of the matter.

I mean, to be honest, I could get partway there by being in another guy’s body. A certain type of guy, anyway. One of the things I got from #MeToo was that some guys view any woman as prey. I’d kinda like to know what goes through their heads too, just because for me the biggest turn-on was always consent – that somebody else wanted to do with me what I wanted to do with them.

And it’s not just the sexual harassment side. I know my wife has a different thought process to mine. I’m not saying it is better or worse, but it is manifestly different. What was she looking for in the first place? What made for good partner/father material? What made her settle for me 🙂? And she will readily say that we were made for each other. I’ll be more dispassionate and say that we were two single adults who happened to meet in what was basically a singles bar, who got on with each other well enough that we decided to build a life, and then a family, together. With me, there are many more coincidences than just fate. She says I was destined to be with her, but I could easily enough have met somebody else the week after. So I’d like to understand that, too. [Hint – that might take more than a day!]

I suppose my answer beyond that is quite difficult because I start from a place where we’re equal in most things. Most kinds of job, I never really saw a difference between a man or a woman doing it, so I would expect the experience to be pretty much the same regardless of what gender I was. One inescapable area of difference, however, is gynaecological.

I mean, you could stick your pregnancy and having babies. No thank you 🙂. Same as you can skip toothache! Although as a passing interest, I’d like to understand more about what makes a mother’s bond so much stronger than a father’s. I’d like to understand more the nerve pains my wife feels, since she gave birth, which despite investigations, the medical profession treat best with painkillers.

Sex, however, is a different matter! Okay, my second part is quite flippant, but it is true nevertheless! I know sex always felt good for me, and I know that the studies say that a woman is even more sensitive, so presumably the pleasure of an orgasm, say, is even greater? I’d certainly be willing to find out. In fact for all sorts of sex acts that I’ve only ever experienced as a man, I would like to find out what they’re like from a woman’s perspective (maybe just one time, though 🙂). I guess most women readers will just be tutting right about now, and saying typical man, but were you never interested to find out too? I know my wife once said that if she were a man for a day, she would spend it playing with herself! (So, maybe we are well-matched!)

And if you think that paragraph was flippant, be thankful it didn’t look like this!

Tick Tock Tuesday #15 (21 January 2020)

I thought I’d create a new challenge. It is a challenge primarily for me, because I’m new to this platform, and because you don’t really know me yet, nor I you. As my name suggests, I am recovering from a stroke, and I like to push myself in all kinds of little ways… including getting to know the Wonderful World of WordPress. Although this is something I will be doing, I invite you, if this idea takes your fancy, to play along with me and share with me some of your own selections.

My plan is: each Tuesday, until I run dry, I shall post some piece of art with which I have some connection – which has helped to mould me, which makes me tick. Okay, a piece of art is a bit vague – it might be a piece of music, a movie, a book, a painting, or ???? – so my phrasiology is deliberate. It might be anything – I will play this post by ear, so I’m not sure what I’ll think of each week. And, I’ll keep posting on the theme weekly until I run out of ideas.

My rules? Well, I’m not big on rules! My choice will be something with which I feel a connection. That’ll be the important thing, just having some kind of fleeting affection for something probably won’t be enough, unless I’m using my choice as an example of something bigger.

It will be one choice per week – I’m aware that long posts can be quite onerous to read, and I’m in no hurry to complete this so if I have two ideas, I’ll probably hold the second until the next week.

In that same vein, I’ve created this block as a Reusable Block, which I intend repeating for every post on this theme. The block ends with a full-width separator, so if you want to skip ahead each week it doesn’t really matter.

I probably won’t post any lyrics, or any kind of analysis – if you like my choice, the information will be out there for you. But I will try to briefly explain why I feel a connection to my choice, just to try and enhance readers’ understanding of what makes me tick.

I will tag my posts #TTT and I will go looking for other posts with that tag. If you’d like to join in, please do the same, or comment, or pingback to this post, and feel free to reproduce my graphic. Lastly, I look forward to reading about what makes you tick.

I’m quite surprised that there is so much music amongst the things that have shaped me, but I redressed that a little bit the last couple of weeks. This week, however, I am back onto music. Another thing that surprises me is that it has taken me so long to get to my featured artist today, for this particular song is among my top half-dozen or so.

I published Ella at christmas, so before too long I knew I needed to post something by Louis Armstrong. I’m interested in history generally, and you can’t get too far into the history of US music before you come across Louis Armstrong. It helped, too, that I quite liked his Jazzy style in any case. And Pops’ trumpet also brought a new dimension.

I like a lot of Satch’s music, but there was always a favourite for me. I suppose it helps that Moon River exists in many flavours, and this one is my best, topping even Audrey Hepburn’s wonderful film version. That trumpet does it for me.

Daughter Update

Just a few weeks ago, at New Year, I posted about my daughter. I thought I’d give a little update.

Unfortunately, the job turned out as I expected. I hate to say I told her so, but… I told her so. Whichever company she had applied to join, they had decided on the strength of the firing that the potential risk of employing her outweighed the potential gain. I can’t blame them, I would have done exactly the same.

[For anybody new to the saga, daughter’s last job was also her first, she was fired from it (albeit under dubious circumstances), and given a correspondingly bad reference.]

Without saying anything, daughter changed her CV, to exclude this previous bad job altogether. It was her only proper job.

So, when we next saw her, daughter was full of smiles. She hadn’t got that job, but don’t worry, several others were in the pipeline.

With daughter, the devil is in the detail, and it took a while to tease out the detail. My wife thinks she did the right thing, even though it will mean dropping a recent job in the same sector she wants to work in. Start from the bottom again. I said that if I were a potential employer, gave her a job and then found out that she’d skipped a job on her CV, I would fire her immediately for not disclosing it.

How would they ever find out? she says. I don’t know, but that kind of thing tends to haunt you – she will have to be on her guard about it for the lifetime of the new job. It only takes a slip of the tongue to mention this previous job. Especially as my daughter is prone to slips of the tongue!

My own suggestion was that instead of asking for a reference from the head office, she should in future ask for a reference from an ex-colleague, somebody she had worked with and got along with. There isn’t anybody, she says. That’s the real problem – she worked there for six months and can’t think of anybody who’d have a good word to say about her. Plus she has strange ideas about who can and can’t give her a reference. Those ideas might well be contrived, a way of just telling me to butt-out. My idea is that somebody who’d worked with her, built a rapport, would more likely be positive. Anyway, for those reasons, daughter rejected my advice. I shrugged – to do anything else wouldn’t help. She will sink or swim by her decision. I’m in a position anyway where I’m happy to butt-out.

As regards her visits, it is like my last title (Boomerang) – she keeps coming back! About once a week, for a couple of days at a time. It is a bit much for me but how can I say no? Besides, she is quite pleasant when she comes, sometimes even quite useful with her car. She does not want to be at (her own) home. I find it awkward when she is here, because her decision to accuse me of abuse was a watershed in my book. It was a trapdoor – we fell through it and can never get back up. We were never going to be a regular father-and-daughter, from that point on. That’s not necessarily her, but something I have trouble getting my head around.

Can I just come over for a visit? Well, at least she asks.