Independent Living

It is pre-8am and have already completed what will be the secondmost Helculean task of the day. I’ve stripped my bed and just put it in the washer. At least, it was pre-8am when I did this – it’ll be later when I publish the post. But, anyway, the biggest task will be getting it all back on again later.

 I still sleep in the same double bed that my wife and I used to sleep in. She moved out into a more comfortable bed, she says that I fidget too much in the night, but I’m happy in it. The base sheet is still a double, but everything else is single – purely to deal with the washing scenario. Any bigger sizes are just unmanageable.

I can just about manage the base sheet, by using the frame of the bed as a stepping stone – I’ve learned to hook it on there to get everything taut, before I tuck each corner under the mattress. I’ve tried, and failed miserably, with the original double duvets so bought singles. They were easy enough to get off, but I’ll swear a lot later trying to get them back on! We saw these gadgets that are just like 6-inch long plastic paper clips, which help get the cover back onto the duvet, just by clipping the corners in place, one by one.

The careful observers amongst you will ask, why doesn’t your wife help you? In truth, she offers, but it is important to me that I be able to do this independently, so I refuse. To give an idea of how strongly I feel about this, I’d go without changing bedding altogether if I needed someone’s help every time – she thinks I’m mad but people who aren’t disabled never understand the importance of independence to somebody who is disabled. It is a bit weird – when we both slept in the double, putting freshly-washed bedding back onto the bed was something we always did as a team effort, without thinking. But now I need to cope on my own. 

You notice the same thing, by the way, on official forms. Even those forms with are designed specifically in order for a disabled person to claim something, they are constructed such that the disabled person often cannot fill them out unaided. Wiltshire Council are terrible for this, just in terms of my personal experience. It does kinda make you wonder because, here I am looking for work, and they have this gaping hole in that they don’t understand what makes disabled people tick, despite the fundamental constraint that it is the duty of the council to provide a lot of concessions for disabled people. With my wife I can forgive this because it is a learning process for us both, it is less easy to forgive a council who must deal with disabled people all the time. 

Oh, the other question you might well ask is, will I be putting the washing out to dry afterwards? I’m afraid not, the damp stuff is a bit heavy and I can just about get it into the tumble dryer, in about 3 trips. To carry it outside and manouvre it onto the line (pegging it along the way) defeats me. Trust me I’ve tried!

Author: Stroke Survivor UK

Formerly, designed and developed IT systems for banks, but had a stroke in 2016, aged pre-50! I have returned to developing from home, but some of my time is also spent volunteering with the UK charities Age UK (www.ageuk.org.uk) and the [UK] Stroke Association (www.stroke.org.uk).

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