The Caramel Crunch (25 January 2020)

Over at Caramel (Learner at Love), CARAMEL has started a new prompt. I’d like to see her prompt do well, and I had some time today to write a post, so here we go…

The prompts are called the Caramel Crunch and so far are centered around a moral question. For your convenience I shall repeat her question.

Your boss wants you to tell a difficult client or a customer something that is clearly misleading. It feels dishonest, but your boss suggests you find a way to couch your words so that you are not telling a blatant lie.

Okay, time for the real deal. This week I must admit I’m a bit stumped. It’s easy enough to see the issues:

  1. is telling a lie the same as concealing the truth?
  2. are you comfortable being, let’s just say less than frank, with someone?
  3. are you sufficiently uncomfortable that you’d maybe risk your income because of it?

I guess for (1) I’d say pretty much. But I know a lawyer would disagree. The truth is not the same as the whole truth. Plus this is how people sell things to us, the world over. Highlight the good things, and hope you don’t notice the crap.

For (2) I’ve never been in that position, but I’d for sure be uncomfortable, I guess most of us would. Even a so-called white lie (i.e. harmless, but that gives me an idea for another post one day, do you notice how the words black and white are embedded into certain phrases in our language?) makes me uncomfortable.

Lastly, again, I’ve never been in the situation.For me, the answer was always easy. There was always someplace else I could go, if a client was an asshole. Took me twenty years to work out that every client was an asshole in one way or another.

But I’m conscious that I was always sitting pretty. I was lucky enough that I could pick the things which were important, and give ground on the little issues. For me, dishonesty would’ve been a biggie, and I’d have walked.

I’d also judge that if a boss wanted me to be dishonest, that’d be grounds to walk. The end client wouldn’t even come into it. Most of my clients, though, were internal and I always tried to do my best by them. And, maybe the fact that none of this ever happened to me is a good thing?

But what do you say when your next meal depends on what you say?

Sorry, a wishy-washy answer this week. I realise that I’m privileged to have my easy view, but a lot of people aren’t so fortunate. Maybe you can come up with a better answer? Follow the link to see what it’s all about.

Introduction (Fandango's Friday Flashback)

Fandango posted about how he is getting ready to move house, so his WordPress activity will be hit and miss for the next few months. But he made it today and has posted his Friday Flashback.

I have always liked the idea of his Friday Flashback, so shall also post my own. As much as anything, it reminds me of where I was. Hopefully, you will find it entertaining too. Whether he gets to post or not, I’ll continue to post under the Fandango’s Friday Flashback tag, just to stay consistent with my previous posts on the theme.


Hahaha, I was rummaging through my old posts and chuckled some when I found an amusing post I ceated today, two years ago. In fact I remember I had to re-post the video up to YouTube at the same time as I moved from Blogger, because WordPress is anal and will not let me upload videos, despite my having paid for the space already. So I guess it was a quick learning curve to bring YouTube into the loop too.

I’ve never really been big on videos. I used to enjoy taking still photos, but I’m not big on that either any more. In fact, if you’re one of those bloggers who posts vivid photographs of things, that’s why I appreciate your posts. Here is one of mine from when I was healthy:

Switzerland, 2008

But both the camera on my phone, and my old SLR, are now fiddly to work one-handed, plus my eyesight no longer appreciates the finer details. I know the photo above is half-decent, because it has previously received acclaim from other photographers. But for my for my re-post, it was just easier to use the tiny webcam on my laptop instead.

Although the video is two years old, very little else has changed. Maybe I grew up a little bit (unlikely!) but my favourite room, my favourite chair, are still the same, and still as well-lit as they were. In fact I have a small, bright LED which plugs into my USB port, which spots onto the keyboard so I can see to type. If your eyesight isn’t good, they’re cheap as chips from Ikea.

So I hope you enjoy my brief introduction!

Stroke Survivor

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Fandango's Provocative Question (22 January 2020)

Hahaha, I chuckled when I read Fandango’s Provocative Question today, because his question is one I had already asked myself. So the test for me today will be to try and turn my thoughts into a coherent post! He asks:

If you could be the opposite sex for one day, what would you do?

Okay, two parts to my answer. One of which I could do in a single day, the other might take longer (I’ll let you guess which is which 🙂). Both of these assume that I would be a woman who be a turn-on to men, because I’d want to be in a position where I provoked some sexual feelings.

Most important, I’d want to think like the opposite sex for a short time. I’d like to experience what they experience daily. Just for a short while. I’d like to experience something like gender inequality, or somebody making unwanted sexual advances, just so I knew for myself. It’d give me better empathy. I only ever got one unwanted sexual advance in my life – something was said (very directly), I said I wasn’t interested, and that was the end of the matter. There was no further pestering, so it was no big deal on my side. But I’d like to learn about when a simple no is not the end of the matter.

I mean, to be honest, I could get partway there by being in another guy’s body. A certain type of guy, anyway. One of the things I got from #MeToo was that some guys view any woman as prey. I’d kinda like to know what goes through their heads too, just because for me the biggest turn-on was always consent – that somebody else wanted to do with me what I wanted to do with them.

And it’s not just the sexual harassment side. I know my wife has a different thought process to mine. I’m not saying it is better or worse, but it is manifestly different. What was she looking for in the first place? What made for good partner/father material? What made her settle for me 🙂? And she will readily say that we were made for each other. I’ll be more dispassionate and say that we were two single adults who happened to meet in what was basically a singles bar, who got on with each other well enough that we decided to build a life, and then a family, together. With me, there are many more coincidences than just fate. She says I was destined to be with her, but I could easily enough have met somebody else the week after. So I’d like to understand that, too. [Hint – that might take more than a day!]

I suppose my answer beyond that is quite difficult because I start from a place where we’re equal in most things. Most kinds of job, I never really saw a difference between a man or a woman doing it, so I would expect the experience to be pretty much the same regardless of what gender I was. One inescapable area of difference, however, is gynaecological.

I mean, you could stick your pregnancy and having babies. No thank you 🙂. Same as you can skip toothache! Although as a passing interest, I’d like to understand more about what makes a mother’s bond so much stronger than a father’s. I’d like to understand more the nerve pains my wife feels, since she gave birth, which despite investigations, the medical profession treat best with painkillers.

Sex, however, is a different matter! Okay, my second part is quite flippant, but it is true nevertheless! I know sex always felt good for me, and I know that the studies say that a woman is even more sensitive, so presumably the pleasure of an orgasm, say, is even greater? I’d certainly be willing to find out. In fact for all sorts of sex acts that I’ve only ever experienced as a man, I would like to find out what they’re like from a woman’s perspective (maybe just one time, though 🙂). I guess most women readers will just be tutting right about now, and saying typical man, but were you never interested to find out too? I know my wife once said that if she were a man for a day, she would spend it playing with herself! (So, maybe we are well-matched!)

And if you think that paragraph was flippant, be thankful it didn’t look like this!