Hahaha, remember this guy? Well, I studiously avoided his calls over christmas. As John commented, sooner or later he’d get the message.
This morning he turned up on my doorstep. With hindsight, I’m not really surprised – when god handed out subtlety, this guy was standing next to a house brick.
“I did call you a few times over christmas”, he says. Now, I’m fifty-two years old, I see no point is worrying about my own sublety, not in my own house. “Yes, I got your message but I didn’t reply because I didn’t want to go to lunch with you“, I said. Then I added, “You can’t come in because I am just getting ready to go out“, just in case he thought I’d make him a coffee. As it happened, I was going out. In terms of a time to visit, he’d timed it perfectly, from my perspective.So I sent the guy away.
I was polite but firm. Okay, maybe not so polite 🙂. But I wanted to be loud and clear. This guy, as I’ve said, is not the quickest on the uptake, so I’m wondering whether he’ll turn up again and I’ll just have to resort to “Pi** off and don’t come back“. I wonder if that’s direct enough?
I am a bit incredulous. I mean, if I don’t answer this guy’s calls on two separate phone lines, why then come around to my house? Just to have me to confirm it it personally? Or maybe to check whether both lines were faulty?
I’m fifty-one. I”ve been married twenty years. It’s been a while since I broke up with somebody.
Once upon a time I did a bit of work for a big computer company. In fact, that was how I came to be living in this part of the world. Of course, while I was working with them, I met several of their employees. One guy in particular had some relation to the project I was there to deliver, so I had almost daily contact with him.
Their structure back then, they had two tiers of programmers. Some were the glory boys, whose job was to develop new products. Then there was another tier of plodders, whose job was to support existing products. It was a demarkation that I’ve never really seen with other clients.
This guy was one of the plodders. I speak as somebody who was strong enough that I…
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Mister Bump 
Oh yes I remember the guy! You sounded firm on the phone and if that would be me on the other side of the line, the message would be loud and clear!
I think you’ve done that very well. When he decides he wants to come to your doorstep, there is really something wrong with him and that would be proof that he’s not a good friend (what we already know). When he doesn’t show up, well, all the better.
You can’t lose this one, he did.
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If he was half as switched-on as you are, there would never be a problem in the first place! 🙂
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Thank you for the compliment 🙂
We have a saying that goes like that: G-d needed one kind of each. Meaning everybody is just plain weird in his own right.
But ‘your friend’ sounds ego driven and not a friend to you.
Life is too short to lose time like that. You need to do what is good for the heart! Doctors orders!
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In all seriousness,we see similar issues in this chap, that we do in my daughter. The difference? He is a millionaire so can afford not to get on with people! That is scary – that you could deal eith either of them and get just as unpredictable a reaction. He would have no empathy with burnout, I think, (as I know he has no empathy with stroke) but would perhaps notice if you left the house without make-up. At our ages, one would hope that people would see more deeply.
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I hope he will leave you alone. Sometimes even good friends part in life, some things are just not ment to be.
A millionaire? See, money can’t buy you a good character nor values nor empathy (what seems to be a key ingredient in a friendship).
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I like the “I am busy but if I feel the need to contact you I shall.” as a way to go. Some people are “special” in ways that can make our life difficult.
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“Special” is a good word too. I am sure that in his own little world, he means well. But… The stroke has brought it into focus like never before – I have no idea how much time I have left, but I know I don’t want to waste it.
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